Evil Atheist Conspiracy

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  The Evil Atheist Conspiracy is so secret that before you are permitted to read of its history, accomplishments and high renown, you must first consent to the oath.

I [your name] DO MOST SOLEMNLY swear by mine honour and creative intelligence that the secrets I shall read herein will remain secret and shall not be passed, or communicated to any knowlessman upon pain of the most terrible punishment, yea even unto IRONY and SARCASM and PUBLIC MOCKERY

I DO MOST FREELY admit that if the oath be broken, mine figgin will be placed upon a spike, mine eyes cut out and burned before my face, mine liver feasted upon by evil creeping things and mine head nailed to the table by that devil who is more ferocious than any in Hell, who is called, Doug.


UNDERSTANDING these things and KNOWING that the knowledge I seek is given only unto the ELECT I do CONSENT and SWEAR by DARWIN and DAWKINS, by EINSTEIN and HAWKING, by LUCRETIUS and DE SADE upon PAIN OF THAT ADMITTED that the complicity shall never be broken, even unto ETERNITY and that which lies beyond it.